Continuing the theme of my sub-minds coming up with mini stories of their own, here’s another one about an extraterrestrial family visiting New York on one balmy weekend in year 2452:
“Moooom, why can’t I try these cupcakes?” Bhaggs managed to save up a heavy glass collection of HSU coins for the express purpose of getting his sharp canines and molars on these delicious, frosted strawberry cupcakes that only these ingenious humans made. On this gloriously balmy day in late spring (local), Bhaggs’ extended family decided to sojourn to this Earth-city of New York for a family gathering and, as Bhaggs Senior stated, “long overdue cross-cultural educational experience”. He and his mother were currently by themselves in the centuries-old (and quite famous) Magnolia Bakery.
“But you’ll get the poops, honey.” His mother squatted down and fussed over his NewYankees t-shirt. Bhaggs’ quadruple arms didn’t fit too well even through the oversized sleeves. But Bhaggs had insisted on donning the t-shirt right after his mother bought it for him. He had a thing for human consumer goods. “Remember last year? Uncle Yayap brought us those brown sweet samples from the humans and I had to wash your bedsheets. Twice.” She crossed her eyes slightly and looked troubled by the memory.
“But mooom, that was so last year! I’m big eight now. And I saved up, see?” He shook the glass container full of HSU coins that he gripped in his green mottled tail. “I bet that’s at least nine dollars in there.” Bhaggs was quite proud of his precocious financial acumen.
His mother sighed and looked at him with big magenta-colored irises the size of golf balls. She sighed again after a moment. “Very well.” She stood up and looked at the quite amused proprietor behind the glass showcase unit. “Mister, we would like to buy four of these,” she pointed at the cupcake Bhaggs singled out earlier, and spoke in English with a twinge of that Skorj nasal accent.
“Coming right up, my friends!” The delighted proprietor quickly added conspiratorially, “And I must say, for non-natives, you folks sure know the best ones to pick!” After a quick banter between Bhagg’s mother and the proprietor over what brought them to this human city, they left the bakery with Bhaggs clutching a much diminished collection of coins and paper bag filled with a steaming mound of newfound culinary treasures. On the way out, they bumped into Bhaggs’ elder sister, who in his opinion should not have belonged to the same family unit as he, such was her level of annoyance to him.
“HA! HA! Is Bhaggs pretending to be a hoomin again, mother?” She turned to Bhaggs, lowered her face to his eye level. “Getting puppy food for lunch?” His sister Djerling mocked in a sing-song tone.
“Shut up you smelly swamp rat excrement! Your rot-infested brain can’t possibly—”
“Bhaggs! Watch it!” His mother looked at both of them in exasperation. “And Djerling, that’s not very nice. I want you both to stop this.” His mother made a tutting sound and looked from Djerling to Bhaggs and back to Djerling. “Now, did you buy anything over there, Djerling?”
Bhaggs smoldered. As the youngest of the five children in the family unit, he seemed always to be on the butt end of hoomin jokes and mockery. True, he was quite obsessed with collecting the latest human action movies from the Skorj Virtual Collective. Lately, the humans’ Stenchpuke Hunters series were especially exciting, he thought. Bhaggs also could not help but hanker after those delicious human sweets, in all their multifarious favors, colours, shapes, and odors. It was so much more rich than those from his own civilization. But damned if his siblings are going to mock him for what were his favorite pastimes when not doing tedious schoolwork or helping with the family botanical business. In a bit of defiance, he reached in and grabbed the biggest strawberry cupcake in his bag and started stuffing his mouth with it.
“Ooh…” it was heavenly, that cupcake was. With one hand clutched in his mother’s and walking along, he closed his eyes and savoured the burst of alien flavor. How could anyone say a bad thing about those sweets? Bhaggs swore when he grew up he is going to leave his homeworld in the Oort Cloud and live here, in this City of New York. Then he could do whatever he wanted, perhaps feasting only on human sweets to the exclusion of all else. And maybe also finish watching Stenchpuke Hunters in peace.
Upon reaching the edge of this green area that the humans have helpfully posted “Central Park” in Skorj hieroglyphs, he felt much better — his sister’s vexing remarks quite forgotten. Bhaggs was about to reach into his bag for another one of those sublime culinary creations when suddenly his second stomach gave a massive grumble and he started to feel quite dizzy. He stopped walking and let go of his mother’s hand.
“Bhaggs?” His vision blurred, and for some reason he felt he could not really think straight, or think anything at all. Bhaggs stood completely still, his eyes squeezed shut in discomfort. Somewhere deep in his subconscious, he registered his mother and sister calling his name from what appeared to be a faraway place, an echoing sound, and quite alarmed yelling too…and then everything turned to black and nothingness.